The Love Boat

So anxiety and depression keep me from doing a lot of things. In fact, as I recently figured out, though being a homebody/recluse/hermit shelters me from bad stuff, it also keeps me from the good stuff. I've been cocooning myself to feel better protected. Through therapy I have learned that because I didn't feel protected as a child, I learned to build an armor and protect myself. After the horrific experience I had with my last boss and "teammates," my armor was broken, and I no longer had the tools to rebuild it, so I retreated to safety, and refused to come out. We even moved cross-country because I needed to be that far away from the pain.

Then someone on a FB Live this morning said...
"A ship in harbor is safe — but that is not what ships are built for.”

In fact, ships are supposed to go out to sea, battle storms, and see new places. They are purposefully built with strong materials so that they can withstand the pressure of the waves that pound against them. Their decks are built and sealed so that water just slides off of them and does no damage. They don't hide in a shelter, in fact, they ARE a shelter that protects the people and cargo they transport.

WE are ships. I.AM.A.SHIP.

We need to believe that we are meant to get out into the world, to see new places, to try new things, and to withstand the crap people throw at us. My harbor has been safe these last 6 years, and though I am not quite ready to set out for open waters just yet, I'm starting to tool around in the marina. I am built of strong stuff, and though I had a hole and was taking on water, I am working on pumping all of that out and preparing to become sea-worthy once again. This time my sides will be that much stronger, my deck that much more protected, and my cargo safer than ever before. I will also be equipped to allow others to use my harbor, as I won't be needing it as much, which translates into being a better wife, friend, and daughter.