Aaaaaand we're back.

My therapist, as well as several friends and J have all suggested I go back to journaling in some form. So here we are. I don't like pencil/paper journaling anymore because my carpal tunnel makes it difficult to write for any length of time, and this is easy and seems natural...

Going into 2020 I had a bunch of goals. So many that when January 1 finally hit, I felt incredibly overwhelmed and froze in place. But they are important goals, so I'm going to brain dump them here.

Spend time, every day, working on my physical health
1. exercise/move for 20-30 minutes daily
2. take all meds every day
3. track food consumed in an app to track calories and be more accountable re: what I eat
4. drink more water and less Coke Zero
5. meal plan and eat at home more often
6. take my blood sugar and record it at least once per day
7. reduce overall carb intake - fewer than 90 for a while, then fewer than 60 per day
8. stop eating after 8PM
9. to bed by midnight
10. awake by 9AM
11. work with diabetic coach as prescribed by Dr. D

Spend time, every day, working on my mental health:
1. journal daily, even if it's just a brain dump
2. meditate daily for at least 5 minutes using Calm app
3. read and/or work in my mental health books
4. chat with M or J weekly about what I am reading/learning
5. reduce the time I spend on Facebook
6. stick to routine visits with Dr. A and Abi

Word of the year: INTENTION
1. plan my week on Sunday evenings using my calendar(s) and Daily Agenda paper
2. make big decisions after sleeping on them - discuss them with J to get feedback
3. have plans/vision for everything I purchase, including art supplies
4. take the classes that I have been saving up
5. schedule time with friends every other week

Word of the year: AUTHENTICITY
1. do what is best for me (and for us) and not what others want/expect of me
2. work on realizing that what *I* think about myself is all that matters
3. work on art that makes me happy, and not what I think will sell
4. spend time with people who are authentically themselves, and who genuinely like me
5. give of myself in ways that are authentic to me (classes, random gifts, telling them how I feel about them, spend time with them)

I already feel better having written them out instead of having them bounce around in my head.

I have started exercising and am currently on day 2 of a 30-day challenge. I'm enjoying that Body Groove is freeform and allows me room to deal with my own limitations, but also allows me to grow and get better daily. Just doing the elliptical isn't entertainment enough, it doesn't change up enough, to keep my attention. Plus I can wake up, put on clothes and just do it without having to go anywhere. I'm working on stretching out my left shoulder, too, as I go through the program. I'm realizing how stiff my body is and how much mobility I have lost because I don't move/exercise. My legs are certainly better than my upper body, but I'm not liking how that feels. It will get better as I progress.

My evening eating habits are unhealthy. For whatever reason, after dinner, I just binge, even if I am completely full. Part of it is that I am sitting and watching TV, so I clearly need to change that up somehow. If I am not eating while watching TV I am playing games on my iPad. I'd like to be using that time better -- working on something smaller so that I can be upstairs with J, but nothing messy or too easy for the cats to interfere with. Even my coloring books would be a good option. I will put together a bag of supplies that I can easily stash with things I can do with my hands while watching TV. I will also add some SF gum to the bag so that if I need to chew something, at least it's not all sorts of bad food. And we have a good stock of SF Jello I can eat that is sweet, as well as mini pickles when I want something savory. I need to find something else salty, something chip-like, to snack on too. Maybe some of those keto cheese crisps?

I'm going to print out my list above and post it in a few different places so I see them daily. Part of ADHD is easily losing track of time and what I was meaning to do. I have a habit of getting lost on FB or YouTube for hours at a time, and then feeling terrible about it. Hopefully having my list of goals in front of me all the time will help me focus better. Having a daily checklist of all the things may help me stay accountable, too.